Thought Provoking Moments

Now that the new sump pumps have settled in and are much quieter, life at home has almost become a bit complacent.

I had my annual check-up at St. Joseph’s in Hamilton. My Nephrologist and I got each other caught up on our version of events during the Thrush fiasco. Apparently he knew quite a bit more than I was told. He had been in constant touch with the Doctors on my case and despite the fact I was told nothing, my medications were practically being changed on a daily basis (which originally had me puzzled, but was helpless at the time) only because of the constant conflicts with one of my anti-rejection drugs. I guess my transplant meds were keeping the powers that be on their toes. I then had my turn and a chance to rant and rave about the Dieticians constantly nagging me to eat, and my constant explaining that how can I eat, if I can’t swallow?????  At least now we were both in sympatico and I felt better being updated on the whole affair. I really do have to know what exactly is going on when it comes to me, myself and I.

I also had to explain to the Doc about the number of times I had fallen, hit my head and was now having balance problems. Knowing what I know about concussions, I had become concerned as the old noggin’ is taking its time getting better. The Doc then put me through a series of tests, as his trainee interns watched on. He had me stand up while he put one of his arms in front of me and the other in back and asked me to remain standing for several minutes. I could feel my body wanting to sway back and forth, but I held my ground. He could tell I was wavering but was satisfied how I did. He had me walk back and forth across the floor, touching my left index finger to my nose and then try and touch his index finger, repeating with my right finger. He appeared satisfied that I was alright and then explained to Nat and I how to proceed. As I’m wanting to loose at least 5-8 pounds, he agreed that the treadmill would be perfect for helping my balance and that a regular routine was now really recommended. It was also a given that I would strengthen my legs and concentration. I will admit this treatment is a great relief from what I had previously been thinking.

With more information in hand, a couple new medications (for blood pressure), Nat and I had lunch on the way home and then settled in for what was left of our day. My appointments in Hamilton, despite being at 10:00 am, usually take up over 5 hours. The drive (both ways) and parking alone are 3 hours. The walk from the parking garage to the Clinic is close to 20 minutes (2 ways), the waiting to be seen is usually another 30-45 minutes, the check-up close to 60 minutes (depending on scenario). Now you can understand why we just clear our entire day for that one appointment.

The sore back is continuing. This has been going on for several weeks and there have also been a couple of days where I couldn’t even stand up without a stabbing ache in my right hip and back. I was walking bent over like a pretzel and it was agonizing. I sympathize with all those in my family who are also experiencing back problems. Thankfully as the days have passed, most of the pain has eased up, but there’s always that little weak feeling in my lower back that reminds me not to go for a run!!

Our routine has now returned. Nat has his golf games 3 days a week, I’ve been trying desperately to get the baking caught up-to-date. I’ve not made bread in several months, the cookies are in extreme low supply, along with the Raisin Loaf and Scones. I started something almost 20 years ago, that I can’t stop. Nat has become use to having fresh baked goods for his Tea, it’s going to be a struggle to wean him off when the times comes that my baking slows to a “crawl”.

A few surprises have also come our way. From the beginning of the year, Laura has been coming by periodically for a visit. Sometimes she brings Zoe and sometimes not. She’ll stop by Timmies for us and we have a great visit. This has continued right up to this past week, and even Susan and Tom have caught on. I have no idea why they decided to change their ways, but it’s been absolutely great. The visits break up the days for their Father and I, plus we have a chance to visit more often than in the past.

In previous years I was enjoying Nat golfing and having a few hours to myself. I would eat lunch when I wanted, watch some crap TV, muck about on the computer, play games on the iPad or generally amuse myself without the love of my life looking over my shoulders. With the Thrush trauma last year, the old body walking like a drunken sailor, and now the back pain,  I’ve become a bit complacent and my ambition has given up the ghost. I long to sit in the recliner, play games on the iPad, watch boring TV and become brain dead. My emotions are also on the edge.  I’m now getting lonely while Nat is golfing. I’m dwelling on having dentures and my life has become quite stagnant. Even shopping has become somewhat boring. Believe it or not!!!!!! Not having a car, nor being allowed to ride my bike and being just a bit too long of a walk to downtown can add to my loneliness. Nat struggles to come up with any suggestions, despite his tries, as his imagination is a bit lack-luster and his spirit of adventure has disappeared with his childhood. I love him to death for even trying.

Getting out of bed is also becoming a struggle. Not that I’m sad, but I just don’t want to leave the warmth of our bed, close my eyes and return to the Land of Nod. My pill routine is the reason forcing me to get up and at ’em as I have to take one at 9:00 am on the dot. After 20 years this, too, can become a bit of a drag, but my health and well-being are more important than snuggling in bed.

I’m trying hard not to allow my depression to rear its ugly head. I’m hoping that if it does I’ll have the sense to talk things out with myself on my website. The last extreme depression I experienced almost became fatal. The sisters I called were unavailable and Nat tried with every fibre of his being to understand. Nothing in that world makes any sense to him and if he doesn’t understand then he shakes his head and struggles for words to say to me. With the passing of days, talking in bits and bobs, we soon stick our heads out of the sand and get on with our lives, as boring as they are.

The Results Are In

The diabetes routine has been going along pretty successful. My diabetes nurse at St. Joseph’s checked in on Thursday and couldn’t have been more happier with my results. The Fasting Glucose, the lunch and supper tests were all within range of the goals that were set. I still have a couple of points to work on after the supper meal, but hey, I’ll take whatever I can get, especially when I don’t usually have that kind of success so fast.

The diet has still been steadily going strong. My meals have pretty much been the same, except in decreased amounts. I’m not really missing anything except maybe the french fries and baked potatoes, but there’s been one or two cheats, which haven’t really blown my levels out of the water. At the present time I’ve levelled off at one weight and I’m trying desperately to break the barrier. Knowing that one’s weight tends to go in highs and lows, this is one of those levelling off periods I’ll just have to keep working at. I’m also now getting into the treadmill routine and  am ever so pleased that I’m continuing on. It’s now actually making me feel more invigorated. I’m not a very disciplined person when it comes to exercise, but my determination and resolve have hit me hard. I’m desperately trying to lose as many pounds as I can and I’m having thoughts of Size 12 – 14 clothes dancing in my head. I enjoyed dressing up for my job so much, that I’d like to relive a few more of those years before I depart this dearly messed up World of ours’.

Nat and I are now proceeding with the Solar Panels with the application being submitted this past week. We should have some sort of answer within the next couple of weeks. That’s when the ball starts to roll – organizing finances, getting a business licence, getting a new roof and all that other stuff that’s still swirling around in my head. It’s been a long time since Nat and I took on something this big (at least for us) so we can only take it one day at a time and hope things all work out.

With time on my hands in-between these events, I’ve been re-working some of the decor in our little white cottage. I’m now in the works looking for a table lamp for the hallway table after having disposed of the vase with the twigs or other dried sticks which kept getting stuck in my hair every time I dusted. Drove me nuts!! I was also successful at Michael’s purchasing a couple of nice white containers to go with whatever lamp I find. I’m still debating on which style/design to go with our very eclectic style. I’m so drawn to art deco but not sure if that style is appropriate. This time I’m really taking my time to buy something that will work quite well and make the hallway table “pop” a little.  Nat and I have also decided to look for a more decorative floor rug for the Living Room. I’ve seen a couple I like but it’s going to be such a departure for the two of us, if we could only find one with the right colours. I’m sure looking for these two items will keep me guessing until I find ones that look and feel right. At least it’s another excuse to get out of the house and go on short shopping trips now and again.

As they’ve now closed down our local Home Hardware store in Fort Erie (with Nat and I both very curious as to what happened), we had to venture into Niagara Falls to purchase the bags for the Vac ‘n Seal system, which has been quite successful for short term freezing. We also took the time to go to a couple of other stores to pick up items on our “To Get” list. As we arrived at the Drummond Home Hardware we ran into one of the clerks from the former Fort Erie store and what to our surprise he remembered us, too. He was the nice clerk that helped us with our bathroom renovation and we were really pleased with his help. We quietly pulled him aside to “get the goods” on what was happening. He advised that the previous store had been purchased by a father for his son to run. Turns out, the son didn’t really have the retail ambition in him, and he had gotten rid of a very vital department for this area – the plumbing department. In my opinion it’s not really a hardware store without plumbing supplies!! Eventually, and to no surprise, the Father sold the store to our local small Rona Hardware, which will be up and running in May, including the return of our friend from the former plumbing department. We’ll soon have a hardware store again along with our favourite clerk, but just under a different name. It’s funny how you really do miss a hardware store when you don’t have one!! One drawback, however, I’m still going to have to head into either Port Colborne or Niagara Falls to a Home Hardware, as the Vac ‘n Seal system is their product.

As a little added bonus, we were advised that the old hardware store will be torn down and a new strip mall is going to be built. Maybe they’ll also tear down the old Ridgeway Furniture Store and build a BIG strip mall. Afteral, there’s nothing like having a few new stores in the area. I hate to say it, but little Fort Erie and Ridgeway aren’t exactly shopping meccas, so the more we get the more choices we have!!

On another front, with our income taxes being done and finished, we managed to put a little something into our Savings Account to bump it up for whatever else comes up and bops us in the head unexpectedly. It’s also good to have some sort of reserve, especially when you’re folks who hate surprises. I have to admit that I’d dearly love to dip into the account to get the new white bed I’m wanting. Our bedroom is so close to being finished I could spit. The new duvet cover (at lease one of them) has now arrived and in the linen closet, the new sheets have been ordered, the curtains are done, the picture are hung – all waiting for the “big guy” to compliment them all. Somehow with the new solar panel project in the works, I’m thinking the “big guy” may be awhile getting here. Doesn’t stop me from looking!