Just Shoot Me Now!!!

Finishing off a battle royal with Nat Monday morning (more later), I had my dental appointment for dental impressions that afternoon at 2:00. The day started off shitty and pretty much ended the same way.

Some of my apprehension for having impressions done had been eased earlier, as I was told a lot of advancements had been made in dentistry over the years, including impressions. She Lied!!! And obviously has never had them done herself. It was the most disgusting, vile, horrendous thing I’ve ever had to do. Seriously, within  30 seconds of doing my lowers, I wanted them to shoot me.

The appointment started with quite a bit of prep work and I waited quietly looking out at the neighbour’s house through a somewhat steamy window. I was soon approached by one of the dental assistants with a solid metal plate shaped in the form of a half circle. She placed it on my lower teeth, asking me to shift my tongue upwards and then lower it while she checked for size. That was heavy metal, baby!!! Then she repeated the same procedure for my uppers. So far, so good, I’m thinking, not knowing what was coming. I also had to read a couple of consent and information forms regarding dentures and how they’ll fit in my mouth.

The Denture Nurse then came along with a tray of varying samples of teeth. She picked what she thought was the right one, held it up against my teeth and had me check out the colour match with a small mirror I was holding. It really looked like a good match, and in fact a tad whiter, so we agreed that was the one. She and the Dentist then began to fiddle around behind my back getting everything prepped for the hell I was about to go through. I’ll give him credit for filing down an upper back tooth that was broken and sharp and driving me nuts, thinking it might cause a problem.

I could feel my blood pressure rising as I heard the voices behind me, ask if they were ready. With that, my Dentist stuck some pink pudding-like, watery Silly Putty all over my bottom teeth. I began to gag, and with that he placed that heavy metal plate over my teeth, pressing down continuously with his thumb. I began to gag even more. The two of them sat me upright and asked that I bend downward and breath through my nose with my mouth wide open. This is not an easy thing, people. You’re about to explode, breathing heavy and trying not to concentrate on the alien goo dancing around my mouth. Trying to ease the situation they told me I was doing great, only 30 seconds left out of total 1 minute. Great God Almighty, it was finally over. The plate was removed and to my surprise there didn’t seem to be any residue left – the mould had taken and the Dentist said it worked perfectly. It had to, I was NOT going to repeat that process a second time.

Then the real fun began. He approached me with more alien goo, placed the plate over my upper teeth with his fingers and I was off and running. It felt like some of that crap was oozing around my upper mouth. Again, they sat me up and had me lean forward to avoid a lot of the gagging. More heavy breathing through my nose as I could feel my breath hitting his blue gloved hand. I had this great urge to bite down right on his hand, but I was good. Don’t screw this up, Twila, or you’ll have to do it again and this fun game was being paid for out of our lower-class income pockets!!!

At last. Done. Again I was told perfect impressions and the Assistant gave me a damp cloth and mirror. My lips and cheeks were covered in pink alien goo, including bits on my tongue. Now I understand why she was holding a large towel under my chin during the whole process. I just had to laugh – out of sheer relief, I suppose. We both laughed as I wiped myself down and jumped out of the dental chair so fast I almost fell. I couldn’t believe it was over. Somehow going back to the Denture Nurse’s office and paying a downpayment for the lab and dentures was the easy part.

More appointments were made – one for “waxing”, another for whatever. I’m just going along for the ride at this moment. As I had handed in a good picture of me smiling, she took a copy to give to the lab. After that, I will be able to check out my new dentures for shape, colour and request any changes if I wanted. That’s pretty cool. You can try and improve your look if possible which was never done in years past.

It looks like I may have about a month off before the appointments start for the pre-op and surgery in mid-July. Even after surgery I’m told there will be a lot of adjustments and eating only soft foods for 3 weeks – a real bummer!!!!! This whole process is for my self-improvement and esteem and so I can smile and laugh again. I’m in the home stretch. When all is finished I won’t stop grinning from ear to ear.

Back to the beginning of my shitty week. Nat and I had been invited to see Laura’s new apartment in April. My feelings for her since our last huge blast have not dissipated. Afterall she came dangerously close to breaking up my marriage, and that’s unforgivable to me.

The visit went well, but as I had nothing to contribute to the conversation she was having with her Dad, I played with Zoe, her Shih tzu dog, who was curled up in my lap and enjoying my petting.  Her apartment is nice, along with a neat long closet tucked behind one kitchen wall and the exterior wall. Clever. Nat and I also handed her an envelope we had received from her lawyers containing a Release of Interest for her Dad from her former house insurance. We advised it should be given to her insurance agent for his records. She threw that envelope onto a table in another room and returned. We had also asked that she give us a copy of the sale report (Nat had asked her lawyer to send us a copy)  which I assumed she would do there and then, but never said another word.

Lucas arrived home for a couple of minutes to get changed for going out with some friends. We had a few minutes to see him and check out his new tattoos. Then after the conversation came to a lull, Lucas and Laura went on their cell phones. Myself, I thought it was a little rude – but then, again, I’m really old fashioned. The conversations were all about Laura’s coming and goings, her job, etc. and I really had nothing else to add so I kept petting the dog, even after a snide remark about Coach Bags. She mentioned them once, and I remarked I liked them, to which she retorted “I have better things to spend my $300.00 on than a Coach Bag”. Well eexxcuuuuse me!!!!! Didn’t say I bought them, but certainly appreciated a good design when I saw it. (Let it go, Twila, let it go!!!)

She also was a tad upset that her former mother-in-law did not tell her or the kids that their great-grandmother was in hospital and not alert. She’s in her mid-90s and has outlived all of her friends and resides in a nursing home. Laura’s kids wouldn’t go see her in hospital but were upset they didn’t know. I remarked it was nice sometimes to just sit and keep her company for a few minutes. She had no response.

Nat and I decided to leave as there wasn’t much else to talk about. She never asks about others, including her sister, even though Nat mentioned her new kitchen that she was pleased with.

Long story short – that night and the next week I couldn’t stop dwelling on her righteous attitude, lack of personal connection and feelings. Just brrrrrrr. After our last huge fight, Nat and I both agreed to be open and honest with each other. So as we were sitting in the living room this past Sunday I told him how I felt and that I had to say something because it was eating away at me. Poor Nat, I hit him hard. Being his favourite daughter, I could see it in his eyes, he was broken. Forgetting to get a copy of our report from her lawyers, Nat texted her to call. When she did, she was extremely puzzled why we had to have it. She didn’t understand the rush. (I just wanted my file closed and this matter over with, because she’ll soon forget). She’s never fulfilled requests for pictures or other things from me in the past and I didn’t trust her. She just had to hand-over the damn envelope addressed to Nat. I knew she would soon forget and we would never ever receive that envelope. What was the big deal? Nat seemed to insist after what I had said and suddenly she retaliated turning the whole thing back at me. Believe me, she’s very good at that. Never actually answers Nat’s questions, just retaliates with one of her own. According to her, I’m not friendly, I’m looking down all the time, I don’t join in the conversation, and apparently didn’t smother her with compliments about her apartment.

Seriously – she’s in her 50’s not her teens!!  I explained again for the umpteenth time that I have absolutely nothing to talk to her about. Her conversations are one-sided. She doesn’t watch the news, keep up with local affairs or even carry on a conversation about any topic outside of her little world. Plus she has never once asked me directly how I was doing or even my family. Maturity is not her strong suit. She did, however, take that envelope to her work the next morning where Nat could pick it up. Now, was that so hard?

I tried my damnedest to explain to Nat that there was nothing he could do. He kept repeating how he felt he should do something. We’re two very different people and I now have a harder time than ever before to let things go. He was also afraid that I would go into another depression again and he wouldn’t be able to cope. Does he seriously think I’ll be able to cope too??? I just wanted to vent my frustrations and the whole thing blew up in my face. So much for trying to be forthright.

I ended the discussion an hour before my dental appointment by agreeing to be the mature adult in this whole matter. I’ll take the high road and be the mature adult that I am whenever we’re together again, I’ll converse with her about her mundane world, let her think she’s always right, and lay it on so thick she’ll beg me to back off (I didn’t say that to Nat, however). Taking a very deep breath we headed down to my dental appointment to end my day  hoping to get shot in the head by my Dentist after even more torture. Why not, everyone has to pay for their sins!!!!

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