To family members who read this particular post:- Please remember, this is my way of expressing myself. As well as being my online diary, it’s also my emotional outlet. It makes me feel better to “scream” online! So nothing is directed at any one in particular – it’s just me letting out a scream now and again – at ME!!
This morning was one of the best mornings I’ve had in eons. We had Susan, Tom and the girls over for lunch so we could hear about their adventures at Disneyworld and get caught up in their goings on. While everyone else was sitting out on the deck enjoying the birds, bees, bugs ‘n things, Bridget kept me company in the kitchen while I made potato salad for another family get together later on in the day. She stood along side of me while I peeled potatos, boiled eggs and diced some celery. We had the nicest time just chatting away about school, television shows, friends, family and even some cooking. As I use Kosher Salt as a flavoring agent she was curious what that was, so I explained to the best of my limited knowledge the difference between “table, coarse and Kosher” salts. As it happens we have all three on hand in the pantry and I could physically show her. While things were boiling away on the stove, we sat at the kitchen table, watched the rest of the gang on the patio and continued on with our own private time. It’s so rare that I get this kind of time with any of my grandchildren and I’m craving more and more of it. She’s going into Grade 6 this next year and, just like her older sister, she’s going to be in high school before I even bat another eyelash!! She’s the baby of the grandchildren, an independent thinker and a bit of a free spirit. Little does she know how she made my day by just spending some quiet time in the kitchen with Grandma! Sometimes I swear that child can read my mind.
Susan is hoping to get back here again this week to check out the Friendship Trail with the girls so we could all go biking. Papa Nat and I would love that!!
Once the kids departed for home Nat and I had a few minutes to sit down and finish the Sunday crosswords and then we were off again into the big City. This time it was my side of the family. Claudia had planned a nice BBQ and the whole gang was going to be there, and I was looking forward to it as I don’t get to see my sisters, nieces and nephews, often enough anymore. The food was delicious and plentiful as always. Somehow Claudia has that “relaxed” touch when she’s hosting get togethers. She can keep her cool and has that que sera sera attitude that I’m so jealous of. And without fail everyone had a wonderful time. Plus this year the corn on the cob was the tenderest I’ve had in a long time. If I had known it was going to be that good, I would have foregone lunch and saved myself for more!!!
Sometimes I look forward to family get togethers to a fault – the night before I can literally and physically feel the excitement coming on. I get pumped a bit – a dish to prepare, what to wear, who’s been up to what, and so on. I also tell myself well ahead of time to keep my cool, keep an open mind and above all to keep my mouth shut!! Sometimes it works, while other times I can very easily get caught up in the very active conversations going on all around me. I try very hard to keep my emotional spirit in tact as most days they’re sittin’ right there in the back of my throat just waiting to pop out. I struggle on a daily basis to keep them in check and there are so many times when I mentally reach down into the depths of my throat and push them right back down from whence they came. It’s difficult to do when you want to join in, ask a question, express an opinion (in a very opinionated group) and now and again just talk about a whole lot of nothing. Today was NOT one of those days where I was successful in listening to myself. And with me, what else is new. I never seem to learn that invaluable lesson – just keep your mouth shut!!! As so many times before, I’ll give it another shot the next time around – and we can only hope for the best!!
Going home is always the hardest. I’m coming down from my emotional high and it’s difficult to deal with. I did something I told myself I wouldn’t do and I practically mentally scold myself on the way home. I feel the depression coming on and I can now mentally talk me out of it – I’m getting very good at that. I get caught in that trap every, every time!! I get sucked in and I can’t get back up out of that hole. I innocently go down that path, thinking I’m okay so far, but then WHAM it hits me – I forgot that I didn’t know what I was talking about and down I went for the count!!! Get up, brush yourself off, take a walk, cool off, cool down and chill out – it wasn’t worth the trip!!!! Plus it wasn’t that important!!! That’s the lesson I have to learn – it wasn’t that important!!!!! God Bless Nat – he knows the moment it happens!